The Power of Cleaning Your Car

So you probably think that since I’m a Feng Shui consultant I have the most amazing Feng Shui. Meaning everything is always in alignment, the water from my fountain is flowing in the right direction, the earth, fire and metal are all balanced in my space, my bed is in the ideal position and I live in a human comfort zone all of the time. Right?


Yes, I’m human, but I don’t always live in a comfort zone. Just ask my car and she will tell you:

The Chi Mobile: I have a bone to pick with Inessa! She likes to occasionally eat in me and sometimes she even keeps her sushi containers overnight. High Alert, high alert, spicy tuna smell lingering.  Please evacuate the premise. At times, Inessa will leave her sneakers in the trunk and then she runs around her home looking for them for like an hour and ultimately she finds them where she left them and we just lost an entire hour that we could have worked out. I truly think this is her way of not having to go to the gym. Oh, and I have to tell you that it gets lonely driving only Ms. Inessa around all over town. You see she gets really embarrassed about letting other people, especially boys, ride in me because well, um… that Soy sauce on the passenger Seat?’

Folks as embarrassing as it is to make this admission; I highly recommend you give your vehicle a voice. Not taking care of my car was another way of not showing up for myself my life. My car is what gets me around from one place to another and when it’s not in a state of Zen-well then neither am I and am much more likely to get upset or irritable driver syndrome, AKA “Road Rage.”

After letting my car vent, I decided it was time to Feng Shui her the right way! First I took her to the car wash on Lincoln in Santa Monica, right off of the 10 freeway exit. For only $50, not only were my seats and carpets shampooed, but the exterior was washed, waxed and polished. The Chi Mobile felt like an all new and shiny hybrid!

Then, I emptied my entire trunk, including my sneakers, and the stuff that I’ve been meaning to give away or throw away for the longest time. Next, I hung a crystal from the rear view mirror to deflect road range and circulate the chi. And finally, I blessed and thanked the Chi Mobile for all her hard work in getting me around and for not polluting our environment, like some other cars on the road.

Can I just tell you that having a sweet smelling car, with clean windows so people can actually see me, paid off momentarily!

The following day on my way to see a new client, something that has never ever happened to me before took place on the 110N freeway: A young man honked at me. But that’s not all. He turned and he waved. I was flattered, so I waved back. Then he blew me a kiss, so I decided to play along and blew him one too. Then he rolled down his windows and shouted, “Those are beautiful eyes,” and so I winked like 30 winks with the only eye that knows how to wink. “Can I get your number,” he shouted. I went along with the fun and games and waved my business card in the air. Then he shouted, “Stop your car!”  I laughed. He can’t be serious.  “No I mean it. Stop your car!”  So in the middle of rush hour traffic (thank God it was slow, and I don’t recommend this to anyone) I stopped. He then ran out of his car and literally kissed me on the cheek and ripped my card out of my hand. People were honking and it was like a scene out of a movie that has yet to be made. Wow, life is definitely stranger than art.

I’m not saying that by cleaning your car, you’re going to have a gorgeous man in his mid 20’s practically jump your breaks, but sometimes for things to get through my head, I need them LOUD  and CLEAR. Now that the “Chi Mobile” was Shwayed, we were receiving feedback from the universe that when I take care of myself, it feels good and people notice. Not to mention any question about the permanence of my 30 something single status has been washed away- at least temporarily. My self-esteem has been on a high for like a week.

I’m sure you’re wondering if he has called or will I go out with him. I’ll have to leave that for “Tales of The Chi Mobile” part II.”

What’s He Doing with a Crash Pad in His Bedroom?

Yesterday I visited the home of two bachelors in their late thirties maybe early forties. Both are very handsome men, athletic and successful-oh and did I mention extremely confident in their abilities to woo and romance women.

However, neither of them are currently in relationships and both say that they want something more serious. At least that’s what they are saying with their lips. Their bedrooms told me a slightly different story.  

Luke, an avid mountain climber and daredevil, ended his last relationship becasue he felt like the girl had a big hole that needed to be filled and nothing he could do could fill it and boy did he try.

OK, so why are you attracting girls with holes to fill?  What belief are you holding onto that would bring in that type of experience?

I found a clue in the relationship section of his room. By the way, in case you don’t know already, the relationship section is always in the far right hand corner of every room and the house (from the front door and the doors to every room.)

In Luke’s relationship corner was… and I kid you not, “A Crash Pad.” If you’re not familiar with that gadget is, let me tell you! A crash pad is used by mountain climbers as an intervention tool between them, the mountain and the ground. It’s so that if they fall from the mountain, the crash won’t be so bad, and their landing will be much softer.  

Yikes, so in Luke’s mind (probably unconscious) he was setting himself up already for the inevitable “Crash” in his relationships.  I mean he had the crash pad positioned on the other side of his bed and it was partially blocking a prospective partners entrance.

Luke says that this was the first time that he left, and that usually he stays and caretakes in this type of relationship.  Kudos on that one Luke!

Perhaps on some level the “crash pad” was helping, but only to the extent of supporting the existing  paradigm that he’s holding onto about relationships in general. In other words, he wouldn’t even be attracting women that needed to be fixed unless somewhere in him was the matching energy of “over-responsibility” and since  I’m all about setting him to experience ultimate fulfillment, the “crash pad” has to go!

Moving the crash pad reinforces the already shift in his consciousness of attracting in healthier relationships.

In Jim’s Romance section we found a picture of his old girlfriend from Australia, from 7 years ago. She was in a little plastic zip lock bag, “But that relationship didn’t end poorly,” he said.

Doesn’t matter. Old picture, old girlfriend, old energy and thus no space for someone new.  So the picture along with the crash pad went into storage.

Both men’s beds were not exactly in the “ideal Feng Shui” position either, which essentially means having the widest view of the room and the door from where you are sleeping and not being intersected with energy from the door. Yes, many Feng Shui books talk about positioning your bed facing north. That might work, but not at the expense of having a partial view of the door. Even cowboys knew that they had the most power and less chances of being killed when they had the widest vantage point.

For both men, the door was directly in alignment with the bed and the energy was cutting them somewhere between their hearts and their male genitalia.

My interpretation:  You’re not fully integrated yet between heart/mind and pure physical attraction when it comes to making romantic choices in your love life and can sometimes be purely driven below the belt. Moreover, because you have to crank your head to see who is entering, this could be a sign of unforeseen events or a blind spot in you perceptual filter.

My next step is to get the guys to move their beds into the commanding/power position.

Wish Me Good Luck!

A Feng Shui Night of Fun!!

Saturday, May 31 6:00-9:30 PM


1212 East Lincoln Ave

Anaheim, CA 92805

The Learning Light Center

Feng Shui Master Nate Batoon presents Feng Shui Masters of the near future – Ariel Joseph Towne, Inessa Freylekhman, Tori Allah, Nancy Kimes, Fred Herzog, and surprise special guests. You will be amazed by their stories, and Ariel and Inessa will make you laugh with their special presentations. Also, Paula Brown, Animal Communicator, will be signing her new book, Fur Shui, a terrific book about our furry friends and how they help feng shui our spaces; the book will be available for purchase. Vendors selling special Feng Shui items and other items will be on hand. There will be prizes, entertainment, and surprises!! Bring a finger food plate or dessert to share and receive 5 tickets for the grand prize drawing. Nate will reveal and teach for the very first time his very special Feng Shui meditation that is
only taught in Feng Shui 8. All this for only $30!