A few years ago, I made a transformational journey to Bali, Indonesia to study Space Clearing with Karen Kingston the clutter and space clearing expert. Even before my trip, I began to slowly release some of the “stuff” that had been bogging down my consciousness and life.
Her philosophy is that everything has energy in it and even if you can’t see it -on some level it’s either depleting or giving you positive energy. For example, things you hold onto out of fear, worry, concern, lack or guilt would be considered energy drainers, but things you keep around you because they make a positive impression on your life would be considered energy enhancers-not in her exact words, but this is the way I have interpreted it and teach it to my students.
One of the things I always encourage myself and my clients to release is ex-memorabilia-especially if it’s from a relationship that is toxic-but really any relationship that has your thoughts and feelings in a holding pattern. If you’re life is filled with stuff from memory lane, then it’s really challenging to live fully in the present and receive the newness this moment has to offer you. Especially a new partner!
Let the truth be told.
Up until those weeks before my trip, I had been holding onto a box of “stuff” from a very brief but blistering relationship. Actually that’s not completely accurate. Technically speaking the “stuff” wasn’t in my house. I had to give the stuff to a friend to hold at her apartment, so I wouldn’t be tempted to look at it every 3 months, 3 weeks, 3 days, 3 hours, 3 minutes, 3 seconds.
The box sat in her apartment and although I never saw it, I was still connected to it. The very fact that I couldn’t have it around says that it still brought up old feelings that were unprocessed. A part of my denial was the story I told myself that the stuff was art. I felt it was disrespectful to throw it away. I had huge plans to do something creative with it. Like write a script or make a collage out of it. The idea that I would make it into art is what I call holding onto unfinished business for a someday one day that most likely never comes. Clearly I use myself as the guinea pig for my theories. I was never going to make art out of it and was just holding onto it and let’s be honest folks, because I wasn’t over the guy, no matter how unhealthy the relationship had been.
It was not until a week before I left to Bali and caught the momentum of the deep clearing work I was about to partake in when I finally mustered the courage and with the support of my dear friend took the package and threw it in the ocean.
It wasn’t that easy and not just because I feared a group of environmentalists would catch me and give me a ticket for polluting the ocean, but because the package came sailing right back to my feet both times I tossed it into the rolling waves.
Out of frustration and desperation, I tore apart the package and ripped each page into tiny pieces and blessed it. I thanked the man whose words were now bleeding threw the pages. I thanked him for opening me, for gifting me with his love and once again released it into the ocean. I released the jewels and all the bling he gave me too. I kept blessing and releasing until all that was left was the fruit printed wall paper packaging I had used to keep all those pages and gifts together in one bundle.
It was then when I, or should I say my dear friend that was there with me for support, made the startling realization that part of the reason, I hadn’t manifested a new lover was quite simply because this man had stock in my yoni!
For all who don’t know that word yet, a yoni is a woman’s vagina.
Yes, out of sight was not out of mind, or out of my energy grid. I was still connected to him on many levels through these romantic offerings he had given me, but not anymore. I took back my energy. I thought it would be much more devastated by the loss of the art, but I realize that I gained much more. I transmuted the gift through the cleansing waters of the ocean. The part of myself I had given away was mine again.
I got my yoni back!