Is Your Bedroom a Sanctuary for Love?

by | Apr 5, 2008 | Relationships


Whether you’re single and looking for the right partner, or in a relationship and want to deepen your love and create more sizzle, then the first place to start is in the bedroom. Apply a few simple Feng Shui tips and go from single to sizzle! 

I love Spring. It makes me want to let go of everything that’s not working in my life. Especially those things that may be blocking the romantic potential between me and my amore!

Someone once asked me, “From a Feng Shui perspective what do you think it means if I sleep on the coach and my dog sleeps in my bed?”..And I said, “When was the last time you were in a committed relationship?” He replied by rolling his eyes. So I said, “no pun intended but I think that means that you’re literally in the dog’s house”and he said, “but I’m more comfy on the couch,” and I said, “yes, and I’m sure the dog feels the same way about your bed.”

Although that may seem like an extreme example of an environment that is not conducive for attracting a partner, or harnessing the flow of passion, I can’t tell you how many bedrooms I’ve walked through and how many people I have met where the blocks to romantic bliss are as much rooted in the physical space as they are in their minds.     

I want you to start looking at everything in your bedroom as potentially keeping you in or out of the relationship you desire.  Everything is energy. Our thoughts, feelings and unconscious beliefs get imprinted into the spaces we spend the most time in.

When your bedroom is draining your chi then there may be things that are detracting from: 

The 3 R’s of Outstanding Bedroom Feng Shui:

  1. Resting

  2. Romancing

  3. Rejuvenating

Ideally, these are the only three things you should be doing in your bedroom.

15 tips to Convert a Bedroom Blunder into a Heart-Centered Wonder!

  1. If it’s broken, then fix it! If you want things to work in the bedroom, then make sure everything literally works in the bedroom: doors, drawers, lamps, etc. Broken items literally drain your energy and communicate that something isn’t working in the relationship. Are the lights always out?

  2. Get in command of what you want! The bed must be in the “commanding position.”  Having the widest view of the room from where you are sleeping, and seeing the door helps create a sense of security and ease in the relationship. It also makes you feel on top of things and gives you the widest perspective.  Like you can handle anything!  The more you can create a situation where you are in command of your environment, the less startled and stressed and anxious you will feel and the more conducive for rest and romance your room will communicate!

  3. Easy Access Baby! Both people should have easy access to their side of the bed and the space on both sides of the bed should be clear with no obstructions. This is true whether you’re in a relationship right now or not. Act as if!

  4. Matching nightstands represent equality and Matching Lamps illuminate through difficult times. Remember to purchase low voltage lights to keep the mood conducive for winding down.

  5. Don’t use old sheets from old relationships! Energy lingers on them.  Yuck! New Sheets, new energy, new passion.

  6.  Screechy, whiny and cranky doors and bed can create stress and could be metaphors for the way you feel about yourself, love and relationships. Spraying WD-40 or olive oil (or any chemical free substance preferably) can remove those nasty sounds and feelings in an instant.

  7. Make sure the bed has a strong headboard and/or wall behind the head area. This represents security in the relationship.

  8. TV is out! Not only do TV’s create a harmful electromagnetic field, but they act as a distraction and can be an excuse for not dealing with each other on a deeper level. Keep the TV in an armoire, cover it with a fabric or move it out all together.

  9.  Pictures of parents and children’s and friends do not belong in the bedroom! Who wants all those gazing eyes on you when you’re winding down or in the midst of ecstasy?  It’s hard enough for me to keep my parents out of my head-much less do I need them staring at me while I’m trying to fall asleep.

  10.  Keep your office out of your bedroom. Need I say more? There are much better places to pay your bills then from your bed.

  11. Remove anything out from under the bed; this could be creating stagnation in your sex life.

  12. Choose neutral colors and then pick one wall and paint it a knockout color which will bring some of that steamy energy. It’s important to collaborate with your partner on what colors relax and get you in the mood. Don’t make the bedding completely white. It creates a sense of sterility and isn’t very inviting.

  13. For you single folk, Acting “AS IF “will expedite your beloveds arrival! Create Space in Your Closets and dresser! Take a stretch and buy another toothbrush! Check out the story in this newsletter about my Client Jane who “acted as if” and is now with the love of her life.

  14. Choose art that makes you feel good and reflects your desires. Remember, first and last impressions are made in the bedroom. So make them fantastic, romantic and inspiring!

  15. Reduce Clutter. Clutter sends a message of too much to do and too little time to do it in. It creates a sense of overwhelm and stagnates the flow of chi!

Make sure your space really acts as a mirror for your heart’s desire in a relationship. The more extreme your environment, the more unhappy you are going to be.

To make your Yin more harmonized with his Yang, and his Yang more in Love with your Yin, consider making these Feng Shui enhancements to your bedroom!

By Inessa Freylekhman, Feng Shui Coach and Educator.